I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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