Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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