I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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