You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
She announced her abortion via fbk
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
