I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
