wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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