They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
