so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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