We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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