The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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