did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
