Got a toothbrush?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
