What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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