please come you make the beer taste better
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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