Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize