Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
