It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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