And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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