Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
