Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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