DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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