she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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