batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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