she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
