actually, I'm a sock model
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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