Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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