I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
