i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
