told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
