we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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