Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize