Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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