First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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