You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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