Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
