he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
