my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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