I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
