I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
