My friends, they love my intelligence
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
