oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
