Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize