I am in a vortex of obligation.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
