Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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