im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Randomize
