We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
