am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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