Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
