I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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