You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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