I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
