K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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