i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize