Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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