filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
