Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
why is half of my head shaved?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
