remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize