Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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