By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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