I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
