hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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