my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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