Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
