I can tuck mytits in my pants
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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