But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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