who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize