Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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