Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
sex in a hospital.. check
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
