whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
