FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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