Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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