Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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