im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We had to coat check the pizza.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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